#COYG

Learning about love and commitment through my football team

#COYG means “Come on You Gunners”. A hashtag commonly used by loyalists of Arsenal football club. A little history here, or just context really. Arsenal is a football club based in North London and was established in 1886. It’s one of the most progressive football clubs in the world - with 100% green energy, advanced waste management and the statistically most successful women’s team in England.

Arsenal’s men’s team had its best years in modern history between 1998, starting with the league and cup double with Tony Adams as captain, and then the Invincible season in 2004 where we didn’t lose a single league game. We were the first men’s side in the top 5 European leagues to ever do this, and the only in England till date. However, I was barely sentient during this successful time. When I developed intelligence, Arsenal was already in decline. And you guessed it…it’s been downhill ever since.

Arsenal since the invincibles season - Shutterstock

Arsenal went downhill for a number of reasons, primarily financial. The move from Highbury stadium to the Emirates stadium was difficult for the club. The broader financial landscape in football starting changing drastically as well - with oligarchs nation states effectively financing clubs. Not sure how these legal things work but completely separate from my last sentence, look into the ownership of PSG, Man City and Chelsea.

I didn’t even choose to be an Arsenal fan. I just was. I grew up in a household of Arsenal fans. On weekends and Champions league nights, my brothers and I would always watch games. Uncle Chibuike and Uncle Onyi (may he rest in peace) would come over and watch to. My dad was around often too, till Arsenal hurt him too much so he stopped. But just like that, I was in love. With a football club, thousands of miles away. Not sure exactly when it started but as long as I can remember, it was, and always will be Arsenal.

Even as things got significantly worse with heavy, embarrassing defeats in high profile games, there was nothing to do but be an Arsenal fan. And those defeats actually hurt. You get deflated when your team loses. And when they win, colors are brighter. You feel like things are working in your favor just a little more.

In spite of all the difficulty, we still had moments like when we beat Messi’s Barcelona at the Emirates

or beating Bayern, 2-0 at the Emirates.

And in post-Champions league history, the several times we’ve cleaned up Chelsea have been a highlight. Personal favorite was actually a draw. After going a man down early in the first half, Gabriel Martinelli announced his arrival to English football at Stamford bridge.

When you get angry at your club, you can only be angry for so long. Maybe you take some time off from watching but you never consider any other options. I remember Arsenal’s first season out of the Champions league for a while - 2017/2018 - I basically didn’t watch football that whole season. Some free advice - look out for anyone that switches sports team allegiances. You can’t believe anything they say.

Fans stay committed to a team because they love them. Love can’t grow without a commitment. That commitment can obviously take many shapes but it’s so interesting that all the football team commits to for a fan…is existing. And remaining. I love Arsenal for what it is, for the badge. Stadiums change, players come and go, staff leave but the badge remains. And that’s enough to love. You don’t stop loving your team because they’re out of the Champions league or because they get relegated - you stay, you persevere. Sometimes, the hurt is too much and you step back and reassess and do what you need for yourself. But the love stays, and you stay committed.

Maybe if we thought about our loved ones the way we thought about our football teams, it might be easier to accept people for who they are. As they are. Because that’s what it means to love them and not images or versions of them that we want or like. We often have demands of those in our lives, and sometimes those demands warrant them being different people. Sometimes, I get disillusioned by my friends that enjoy mint ice cream, but what can I do? Ideally, they get the help they need but ultimately, I should love them regardless.

If you think too hard about it, the analogy between loving people and loving your football team breaks down but the lesson remains. We should love people and accept them for what they are. People change but we can’t change people. From my experience supporting Arsenal and watching my friends support their own teams, I know that if you love football, then there’s a little bit of romance in you.

Separately, there’s this sweet song that I’ve been obsessed with. He wants to tell her the “things he knows”…listen to it and read the lyrics and you’ll peep how deep that is. Obviously it’s just a vibes song but it’s also deep. He doesn’t just want rocks, he wants to sit down and tell her the things he knows. Like, “come let me share my mind”. Forget bro, that’s deep.